I carry life or death within me,
this little stirring, blind and pushing life form
is the sweet paradox inevitable,
weighing me down with either sorrow or joy.
The joy of knowing that you are there,
The unborn smile of my character,
Is it the face of your fragile mother?
The lovely Nikki of my younger years!
The sorrow of forever not seeing you,
Weigh down my soul forever more!
How I love to see your eyes
Shining on me with full delight!
The eternal flame of love, within me,
The dreams of wading on running streams,
The giggling sound of shrilling laughter,
In my heart desire, in vain it died!
In darkness you wander searching for a home
A pity in sight at the end all alone!
A blank wall at the journey’s end,
You face death all by your own!
Teach me, my little one, the acceptance of pain,
whether death or life is borne within me.
Soothe the aching pain
Of an old man’s dying days!
Wherever you are my little angel,
In the midst of Autumn, Spring, Winter,
and this wild, petal-drifting, sun-dazed May.
I am with you and pray someday,
When I close my eyes,
On my laps you’ll play!
I love you my child…
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